I think maybe the introvert/extrovert scale is bad

A hypothesis: When people talk about introversion/extroversion, they’re not using those terms to refer to specific/consistent things, and having access to these terms prevents people from thinking about and understanding what they’re actually experiencing.

Some things I might mean when I say I’m introverted, e.g. as an explanation for why I don’t want to go to a party:

• When I go to parties I often end up making small talk with a lot of people, and I find that less satisfying than having a deep conversation with one or two people
• I expect that the group of people at this party will be either people I don’t know very well or don’t like very much, so I don’t expect it to be fulfilling to spend time talking with them
• It’s not really clear what activity you’re supposed to do when you go to a party, and it would be effortful to figure it out
• I’m feeling emotionally depleted for some unrelated reason and as a result I don’t have very much energy left to spend on socializing
• I have a general lack of self-confidence and worry about making a good impression on people, which makes it hard to relax and have a good time
• I have social anxiety (this could also mean a variety of things, including some of the points above)

If I forget about the concepts of introversion and extroversion, I have an opportunity to learn more about myself and get more value out of my experiences. For example, if I notice that I’m emotionally depleted for some reason unrelated to the party, I could do something restorative first (e.g. take a nap) and then maybe enjoy going to the party, instead of holding onto the belief that I shouldn’t go because there’s something about my constitution that means I’m unable to enjoy this whole category of activity.